Inter-Office Memo

A SPECIMEN OF RECENT CORRESPONDENCE WITH THIS OFFICE

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Hello Chairman David,

Received with thanks membership to the Robert Benchley organization. However I note that although [my husband] is a member in good standing my membership states that it is for a Sue Lyon and I am not she. Should I need to present the identification I have been sent would I, Sharon Lyon, be denied entree to Robert Benchley organization events?

Warmest regards, Sharon Lyon

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Dear Mr./Ms./Mrs. Shelly Lions,

Per regulation 26(b) of 1974 and Executive Order 42865-5 of 2002 all requests for changes to membership cards and/or certificates must be filed in triplicate with the DEPARTMENT OF STATE, Bureau of Internal/External Affairs, Office of Literary-historical persons (fictional/nonfictional), Room 314-b, Washington, D.C. 20205-6978 using form SF-105-b(1) available electronically from the OFFICE OF MANAGEMENT AND BUDGET. All request must include original card/certificate, proof of identity as required by (a) or (b) below:

(a) Primary proof of Identity

A valid U.S. passport issued no earlier than December 19, 2009 if accompanied by SF-256-b

(b) Secondary proof of Identity

A valid U.S. passport issued earlier than December 19, 2009 accompanied by long form statement of live birth, affidavit from a relative within two degrees of consanguinity who has known you your entire life, affidavit from local Chief of Police in the city/town of our primary residence stating that there are no outstanding warrants for your arrest.

Due to the high number of requests processed by this office the expected processing time is 7.5 years. Should you need the certificate/card sooner you may apply for hardship expedited service by submitting form EF-9566-a(4) accompanied by the processing fee of $125. The current waiting time for expedited hardship service is 15.2 years.

Sincerely,
David Trumbull

P.S. Or I can just have Chris Morgan print a new one.