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To this query:

Benchley wrote an essay once about spending the weekend at someone's house....tip toeing around trying not to wake the host....while the host did the same....

The Robert Benchley Society responded:

Thanks for contacting the Robert Benchley Society. The essay you have in mind is "The Tortures of Week-end Visiting." It can be found beginning on page 20 of "The Benchley Roundup" (1954) and beginning on page 32 of "Of All Things" (1921). According to the work "Robert Benchley, An Annotated Bibliography" by Gordon Ernst, it was originally published in the February 1917 issue of Vanity Fair.